Recently, I have been spending much effort in my work. I would say that the work itself is not particularly difficult, yet there're much more to learn other than those clinical stuff. Though hard, I do appreciate this leaning experience sometimes, especially after positive outcome or feedback. But, consciously and unconsciously, I am pretty clear that I dislike the culture and dynamic.

          I am never good at handling stresses, the mechanism which I tended to adopted was 'avoidance', 'displacement' (my interpretation to this would be to shift my focus and attention away from the problem, minimize or even negliect them, or make up a reason that those troubles/ difficulties do not worth my effort as I do always have something better and easier waiting for me) ---> which I do always have, thanks to the SOLID, CONCRETE shelter of my family.  but, as I grow up, I learn that there are things that you could never escape or avoid, or you would miss a invaluable lesson to learn from.

           I wish I could always get the most from every scenario or circumstances in my life. Instead of looking for a easier, care-free way of living, I should equip myself with higher enduacne and tolerance to challenges.

         Yesterday, I took a sick leave. felt much better after a long sleep. In the afternoon, I spent hours studying, revising notes about work. I was pretty sure that unconsciously, I was under stress by the changes in work environment, nature, work dynamic and work load. And this is even apparent when the work related stuff invade into my dream.

        Though, I am positive about the changes, feeling lucky to be exposed to a different environment to toughen myself, increased my flexibility.I Still remember a comment of me appeared in gaduation book,　外剛內柔, this same comment came out from 3 of my close friends by coincidence. what a good reflection of me. Not even this, some other friends also advise me to toughen myself and stay strong towards challenges... haha. Maybe this is absolutely the negatives of being the only daughter, youngest girl in the family ~~~ being spoiled unintentionally by everybody!

        Yesterday, I had a dream, which is about a conversation with my supervisor, sharing with her my feeling, the difficulty, and expectation since rotation. In the dream, I was comforted and assured about all those feelings, and we enjoyed much during the casual conversation. interestingly, I felt energetic as I was on my way to work. haha...... I do really miss Winky, my ex-supervisor, for being so nice and caring to me during the very first yr of work, her work and care work really well in me that I cherish and missed very much from time to time. 

2008.12.31- 2009.1.1 Camping @ 貝澳 & night climb to 鳳凰山

         Happy NewYear, everybody!!! May all the happiness, luck, and bless be with my lovely family and dear friends in this yr of cow.

       Yesterday after work, we gathered at Tung Chung MTR station at 7pm and set off to 貝澳, it's so good to have altogether 14  participants in this party, known as Kon, Abu, Hester, Jenny, Delia, Bo, V, Bonnie, Yat, Jeff, Matthew, Alan, Fion, Riggi. (this party is a random party raised up @ Outback). thx Kon, Yat, V and Hester for doing all the food shopping for us in Taste and market, 10 of us got into bus 3M by 7:50 pm and went straight to 貝澳老圍村。The environment is nice over there with a long river located next to our bungalow, and a beautifully- designed house next to ours which accommodating a pair of Western couple. There we started preparing food, playing mahjong, watching and discussing 珠光寶氣, funny discussion on the main characters, dress code．The shabushabu wtih u guys is nice, with ppl squeezing for space around the pot, dipping hands inside pot in search for food and quickly remove hands to prevent heat burn. It was real nice sitting together sharing the TV, our stories in work, laughing or showing empathy to each others about their treats (I hope we are always good support and friends for each other). around 11:50pm, we went downstairs for counting down, with the poppers and surprisingly, a great firework from far far away in the sky. Best wishes: Happy New Year to everybody

          ~ 2pm, everyone got ourselves prepared with water, clothes for the night climb. But what annoys me was all about the service of Taxi in Lantau Island. Could you imagine there was no taxi available for picking us to the start point of the mountain after having called for 20+ times? So, we decided to get start anyway and wait for one passing by. The taxi hunting process was a long and exhausting jounry. Spending ~ an hour with 12's ppl effort, we managed to make ourselves to 伯公凹 and finally hit the road to the top  WOW ~~ ...~~~ FREEZING COLD ~~~~ I immediately put on ALL of my jackets as I felt the coldness from heart. Here we started :  after ~ 15mins walk, I saw the spectacular view of HK international airport which is bright and extensive. Matthew suggested us to switch off all lightings but use the reflection from moon for nevigation. It works, as all rocks actaully appeared to be shiny under the moon light.  The walk to the top takes around 1+ hr (we did't reach to the summit finally, but settled in a camping area instead) It was a gd place for settling down to make ourselves comfortable; we would not likely to secure a place for all of us to stay up there anyway.  Matthew and Alan were so nice to provide a shelter for us to act as blanket for wind-breaking, and attempt to get us hot water (though failed in making fire under strong wind). we 12ppl sticking together, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip, and legs over legs together under the shelter, having snacks. It was bloody Freezing cold afterall, esp over hands and faces. At times, we stand up jumping, doing a bit exercise for keeping ourselves warm. The sky was beautiful, clear and starry. we stayed close together behind a tent (that belongs to others though, but act as a good wind-breaker for us) from ~ 5am to 7am.  ~ 6am, we split as some prefer to proceed to the summit. 

(on our way to the mountain top)

(lying on the grassland, cuddling together)

(super cold)

     At 6:50am, the sky starts changing, with stronger wind, thicker layer of cloud, and stars gradually  disappear. This changes become more drastic near the expected sun-rise time. This was absolutely a beautiful new year sun rise, as we can see the sun coming slowly from above sea level and going all the way up to the sky. The sun comes out sharp at 7:05am and ppl over there were really excited. I think this is a precious moment to remember as such beautiful sunrise is considered uncommon in 鳳凰山.

   ~~~~ GOOD luck and all the best in 2009 ~~~

       ~ 15mins later, we set off to walk down hill, the walk is not really difficult or steep, except the strong wind from the North. Strong wind blowing from the left hinders us from moving forward, or risking yourself of tripping over. If strong wind persisted, we needed to immediately lower our body and hold hands with friends for increased stability.

(Do we look any different after the night?)

       after that, Yat invited us to his house for breakfast and rest. And Matthew, Riggi, Fion and me shared lunch in food court. After lunch, I went shopping for just ~ 15mins, and immediately jumped on a bus for getting home, as I started feeling TOOOO sleepy to sustain any activties, but prefer a good sleep on bus A22. haha..... 

        Very nice journey indeed.  I hope more are coming!  And BEST WISHES to everybody!

Job rotation

       Have started work in CPH for a wk already, my mood swings from day to day, still not yet settled in dept, esp in wards. On the first day in CPH (27/10), it was the most difficult day for me, becos I was informed and introduced about all the statistics, forms, boards that I have to attend to and follow strictly in the coming months. (There were actually tonnes of papers/ forms that were totally new to me). Next, I felt so uneasy upon the big difference in work environment, atmosphere and colleagues ( Yet, I admit that I was rather reluctant and uneasy about changes, haha). Throughout the whole day, I was frequently reminded of some similar scenario in the past, trying to figure out what strategy I used to adopt in overcoming similar challenges. Well, interesting though, I gained some useful hints from the past. I discovered that I was actually not that WEAK and innert about changes, and from expereicnes, I was actually pretty lucky and blessed in differnet life stresses and would finally make it through, though usually with huge stresses prior to the challenges. Besides, I was so proud of myself as I always embraced the love from my family, friends, seniors and colleagues. And from them, I gained more insight as to what kind of person I was, my asset in a work environment, my unique characteristics. I started to be confident about that changes, instead of being passive, and submissive. Haha... I am growing up!!!

       On Tuesday lunch, 2 supporting staff from TMH came and sent my belongings to me, I was touched to see them, they're really caring guys who love me so much, his care, words of encouragement touched me. In the afternoon,  I went back RB, 4/F, I have a strong sense of ease as I was walking the path to RB. I was familiar with everything over there. yet, I understood that I was no way staying in the same work place simply becos I like that, as I have something more than that to pursuit of. Anyway, I stayed in RB, 4/F for a while and then left with Lily. Thx Lily for your patience and understanding. I still remember that you asked to walk with me to MTR so that I could share with you my compaint, and stories. Your kindness and understanding really counts. 

       On Wednesday, after work, I spent time travelling with Cherling to Yune Long, as Polly invited us to go to her house to visit little Joshua. Joshua was a cute and gentle boy, he looks gorgeous in the baby dinosaur clothing. At 8pm, we went to a Italian Restaurant. Over the dinner, we chatted and shared everything with each other. Thx Polly's reminder and sharing of her experiecne of rotation to Psychitric field, I would bear in mind to treasure this opportunity to learn, no matter what.

     On Friday, we stayed after work to report the case report to my supervisor. It was a valuable time-slot with her as I learned much from her teaching about case report. From her words, I believed she was a nice senior who is ready to share and teach you.

      Well, this is all about my first wk in CPH. Feeling is pretty positive, but, I do anticipate that there're still a long way to go before being competent in the field and the work demand. I wished my passion and enthusiasm will remain high throughout this period, and managed to get the most from it. With friends', colleagues' and family's support, I believe I can make it through. As Grace said,' upon facing a challenging, you can either take it or leave it' (yea, I would have no way to leave it, so.... I am ready)

   BEST WISHES TO ME!!!!!!!!!

so much thanks

       TOday , I received a special gift from Lily --Bible. Yesterday, as we travelled on West rail after work together, I mentioned and asked her about Bible, and to my surprise, she bought me one new bible for me, Chinese/English version. How nice she is. I hoped I will make good use of it.

        I was extremely busy, my head was filled up with progress report, Discharge planning of my patients. I was so ambitious last week, wanting to settle every patient before I leave, but it turned out that I just can't do that to all of them, gotta leave them to my colleagues. In fact, I treasured the rapport and communication with them very much, from them, I learned more about ppl of differnt walks of life, and establish my professionalism, job satisfaction. I was touched when some patient frankly expressed them care and wish me very good luck in the new environment, while some were eager to know why I was leaving... their care and appreciation to me were really something out of my expectation. I felt sorry to some of them as I was no longer the one to see them regularly, shared with them their sufferings, working on their rehab and work planning anymore... I really hoped that they will benefit from me, as what I do from them, and contributed to their lengthy way to recovery. BEST wishes to them ALL!

        Tmr is my 2nd last day in the team, I got some mixed feeling towards that, on one hand, I was so excited as I will soon finish the tonnes of report, case file on my desk, however, as I finish them all, it's time to say good bye to the dearest colleagues. I was so blessed to be in the team, in this work place over my very first year of work. I really appreciate and enjoy my work, my supervisor, Winky, others OTs (like Andy, Jonathan, Eddie, Jo, Polly and of course Yiu, Lily) are so nice and cheerful guys. Everyday, we shared many laughters, funny stories from clients, news with each other over morning time or lunch time. And their care to junior staff are really highly appreciated. Besides, the supporting staff (Keung, Tai Hung, Anita, Wan, Carmen) are all easy-going persons, they are smart and flexible to assist me in finishing the tasks, settling patients. THANKS VERY MUCH to all.

       Well, by 27/10, I will be rotated to Psychogeriatric Team in CPH, I have no idea of what it likes. But I do believe that it is a well established team with good training and supervision to new staff. What i do need is to refresh myself for the upcoming experiences, open to changes and new stuff. I should grasp the chance to develop my self.

        Alright, time for a new start! Cheer up Bonnie! Add oil!